especially gentle especially fierce just love running

When did I start running? This is a question people often ask me, and when I think about it, I wonder why I started running. Like many people who drift away from home, decisively leaving their hometown for a completely unfamiliar city, there will be new friends, new colleagues, and even a lover and a new home. But there are always times when you feel your soul is wandering with no place to settle, and this feeling is something you don't want to share with others because they might think you're being melodramatic or even like Xianglin Sao. I live close to a park, and it took just a month to go from walking to brisk walking to running. After I started running, everything I saw was beautiful, and everything I felt was joyful.

At that time, there was no destination, and I didn't know about pacing. I simply enjoyed the solitude of running. I didn't think about the complexities of work or the trivialities of daily life. My imagination ran wild. During this time, others saw me as radiant, a light called sunshine. People with the same sunshine began to gather to run together and discuss running. The distances unknowingly grew longer, and there was a constant push and pull of surpassing and being surpassed. My body felt like a perpetual motion machine, full of energy. The weekly routine of a half-marathon had become a small goal easily achieved.

Being part of a running group of hundreds, my growth in running was undoubtedly rapid. People began to feel unsatisfied with just completing online races using running apps; participating in offline races became a cool thing to do. For my first marathon, I didn't choose to participate with everyone else. Instead, I packed my bag and took a midnight train to the city of the race by myself. In the few minutes waiting for the start, my mind was blank, perhaps focused, thinking, 'Let it start quickly, let it end quickly.'

After rushing out with the crowd for a kilometer, I heard Codoon report a pace of 5:09, which was beyond my control at the time. I reminded myself clearly, 'Slow down, be steady.' When I realized my earphones were looping just one song, the 10-kilometer marker appeared before me. 'Never mind, just go with it.' When I reached the finish line, my watch stopped at 1:56. I really said to myself, 'I'm proud of you,' because everyone who sets a personal best in an offline race feels an overwhelming sense of pride.

Desire is the greatest driving force for human progress. When people around you start advising, 'Stop running, it's bad for your body,' 'You're not a professional athlete, why run so much?' 'No matter how much you train, you can't outrun the Africans and win the prize money,' the desire to keep running becomes even stronger. I am myself. I enjoy the moments of complete control over my body and not having to care about others while running.

When my running journey reached its second year, participating in a full marathon was already on the agenda. The distance of each run increased from 10 kilometers to over 15 kilometers, and the weekly half-marathon increased to over 30 kilometers. Participating in a full marathon requires regular training, but it's not just about piling up mileage. When the body and confidence start to swell under the stimulation of hormones, pre-race syndrome comes quietly yet overwhelmingly.

At the 38-kilometer mark of the Dalian Marathon, I experienced what it means to hit the wall. I knew this kind of physical and mental torment might appear again in future marathons. I wouldn't give up running because of this failure; instead, I would seek the reasons for failure and learn more comprehensively and train more scientifically. This year marks my fourth year of running. I packed my bag again and returned to the marathon course where I ran my first marathon. The same ethnically distinctive cheering crowds, the same flat course, but this time there was heavy rain throughout and a private pacer friend accompanying me. Despite some minor issues, I unexpectedly finished seventh in the women's race. Perhaps this is what we often say, 'Just keep working hard, and leave the rest to fate.'

In my four-year running journey, from running alone to running in a lively group and then to a few people 'pretending to bump into each other' for a run, what hasn't changed is my love for running. What has changed is the friends who can run farther with me. Our goddess-level running group started with ten people and still has ten people. We all share a common trait: having interesting souls. We wear running shoes and high heels, talk about Dior and Decathlon, apply YSL and keep an eye on YEEZY. We have different reactions when watching videos of Eddie Peng and Eliud Kipchoge—one makes us drool, the other drops our jaws.

As I write these words, Sister Xiaocao has just returned home after finishing her Nth marathon this year and is preparing for the Tokyo Marathon. Chun Chun won the 50-kilometer trail race runner-up, Xiao Tong learned to swim, Ya Fei completed several large event hostings and is now buried in PPTs, and Sister Xia is probably traveling somewhere in Guizhou on her annual national map tour.

We often schedule runs and occasionally drinks. Ivy, how did you secretly run another 60 kilometers? Yun, your plank time is up to 13 minutes now? What have I been doing? I am responsible for recording You Ran and her husband conquering mountains together. Little Rabbit, just stay home and take care of the kids. Don't overthink it. Interesting souls are often connected with independent thoughts, letting imagination run wild while controlling actions. This combination sparks creativity and strict self-discipline, which is probably the secret to our relationship.

In these years of running, I started reviewing sports equipment, from clothes and shoes to earphones and watches, and even daily necessities. The brands have expanded from one to include Li-Ning, Codoon, Salomon, Kailas, Garmin, Suunto, AfterShokz, Mifo, and many others. Whether it's 20-30 degrees in summer or minus 20-30 degrees in winter, as long as the review requires it, neither the weather nor the duration is a factor for me. Actual testing and product presentation are what matter.

I often hear people say, 'It's just a review, why so serious?' If I weren't particularly hard on myself, how could I complete each collaboration on time, with quality and quantity? Besides running, I also enjoy swimming, hiking, weightlifting, ice skating, reading, watching movies, and writing. People often say, 'You look so artistic and quiet, yet you can run marathons?' If I weren't so hard on myself during training, could I just pack my bag and stand on the marathon course anytime? 'How do you maintain such a good figure?' If I weren't ruthless in saying goodbye to junk food, could I have collarbones and abs?

My running journey is about to update again, and it's time to set new goals ruthlessly. 'Living the life you want is not selfish; expecting others to live according to your wishes is.' May every runner be gentle to kindness, ruthless to malice; clear about their goals, and persistent in the process. May every flag we set have a beautiful result. If the result is not beautiful, we will still gain unexpected surprises in the pursuit.