embark on a journey of change and rediscover a stronger self
A sudden heartbeat, embarking on a journey of change
Why do you run? In the running community, this is a frequently discussed and evergreen topic. Some run to lose weight, some for exercise, some to fight illness... and I run to change. In March 2018, by chance, I reunited with a close childhood friend who taught me to understand myself, change myself, accept myself, and love myself. With a pair of shoes, a road, and Codoon, I set off on a journey of change.
Weight loss and body shaping, running gives me external beauty
This run continued, unwaveringly, five kilometers every day, stretching, and practicing abs exercises. Perhaps it was the strong will or the persistent effort, but I truly changed over one summer. The effect was immediate; I could easily fit into size S clothes. People around me were amazed at my transformation, even my husband began to admire me. Along with the summer hit 'Burn My Calories' in 2018, I, nearing forty, caught up with the trend, successfully losing 20 pounds, transforming completely, and winning the world with my silhouette. The physical change filled me with a sense of accomplishment, feeling that others looked at me differently.
Cleansing the soul, accepting and loving myself
With the physical changes brought by running, I began to explore inwardly. Why do I seek external validation to recognize myself? Since childhood, I have constantly strived, studying hard in school and working diligently. Ambition and strength were my outward traits, but in reality, I had very low self-worth, never recognizing or accepting myself, deeply insecure.
From a psychological perspective, part of the reason lies in my original family. My sister was excellent, my brother was a product of a patriarchal era, and I was like an invisible person in the middle. I had to constantly strive and perform outstandingly to get noticed and acknowledged. Thus, I was a mix of light and dark, pride and inferiority. I always felt not good enough, always afraid of others' criticism, because deep down, I never recognized myself.
However, the confidence brought by running made me more genuine, carefree, free, and confident. Running reconciled me with my inner self, making me realize that I don't need to be a better version of myself; being myself is good enough. Running made me please myself, not others.
People who love sports have a vibrant spirit. In the running community, there are handsome ones, fast runners, and those with excellent writing skills. They are sunny, positive, cheerful, and lively. They are resilient and persistent, knowing when to persist and when to give up. They are eloquent, knowledgeable in astronomy and geography, physically strong, and mentally civilized. In physics, there's a phenomenon called resonance, where an object vibrates and causes objects with the same frequency to vibrate as well. I am increasingly attracted to this group of people in the sports world, whose bodies and souls are on the move, aligning myself with their qualities.
Stepping forward, running without looking back
Running is a process of being with oneself, a process of paying attention to one's body and feelings. Every kilometer, hearing Codoon's prompt feels like affirmation, praise, and encouragement. Running is a process of constantly surpassing and breaking through oneself. Last time, I ran at a pace of 5:30, and this time, I started at 5:10. The lightness from my heels to every organ and the joy from within made me feel energetic and powerful all day. Running is not just an action but a spirit.
Some say running is essentially the same as playing games, scrolling TikTok, drinking, or playing cards, just a personal hobby, no need to glorify it. In my view, running is a hobby that not only becomes addictive but also fills the mind, making one agile and passionate. I love running because I love the exhilaration after sweating profusely, the grit from persevering, and the happiness from the adrenaline rush. Those hormones and dopamine store the love, joy, and peace brought by running in my body and mind.
Run out, keep running, become a scenery, and be yourself.