chinese style parenting: why i dont let my child do housework

"Finish your meal and then get to your homework. You don't need to wash the dishes; just make sure you do your assignments well."

"If you don't do well on this test, I'll make you clean the table for a week."

"I work hard every day to prepare three meals for you, and this is how you repay me? Do you think you deserve my efforts?"

When it comes to housework, the first thing that comes to mind is the word "labor," specifically physical labor as opposed to mental labor. This implies that physical labor is considered inferior to mental labor, suggesting that even among types of labor, there are distinctions of higher and lower status.

In the eyes of Chinese people, especially Chinese parents, "labor = unrefined work = selling physical strength for money." Successful individuals often emphasize the importance of theoretical knowledge when sharing their experiences. You've heard that knowledge can change your destiny, but have you ever heard that labor can? Knowledge always gives a sense of "superiority," while labor generally doesn't require advanced skills and is often looked down upon, as if "labor" creates class distinctions.

Looking at Chinese families, the education of children always emphasizes: you must study hard, work diligently, so you can get into a good university and achieve success.

So why don't parents let their children do housework? The answer: because studying is more important.

But is that really the case? The college entrance examination system is constantly being reformed, and the demand for future talent is inevitably for individuals with comprehensive qualities. This includes not only theoretical knowledge but also physical fitness, labor awareness, and ability. Therefore, housework is the best way to cultivate these skills and foster parent-child relationships.

Not letting children do housework can lead to the following bad habits (this is not meant to scare you):

1. Passive and unmotivated behavior

Not doing housework can make children less proactive, and over time, this can affect their studies and lead to the bad habit of procrastination.

2. Poor independent living skills

As the cherished child of the family, surrounded by six adults, they don't have to worry about anything and lack self-care skills. When they grow up, they become "useless" and can only rely on their parents.

3. Lack of appreciation and gratitude

Children who are used to being catered to by adults, having clothes handed to them and meals prepared, will also get used to others' efforts and won't understand the value of appreciation and gratitude.

What are the benefits of letting children do housework?

Besides helping parents with some of the chores, there are five benefits for children's growth:

1. Increased physical activity

Doing housework can increase physical activity. Since children spend most of their time studying, they have fewer opportunities to engage in physical exercise. Different chores can exercise different parts of the body. For example, washing dishes can improve finger and arm coordination, and mopping the floor can provide a full-body workout.

2. Cultivating a sense of responsibility

Housework may seem simple, but it can cultivate a child's sense of responsibility, making them realize that they should handle their own tasks and contribute as a member of the family.

3. Boosting self-confidence

Doing housework can give children a sense of achievement and satisfaction, making them realize that they can accomplish tasks on their own. This encourages them to be more willing to share and participate in household chores.

4. Developing problem-solving skills

When children first start doing housework, they may not do it well. Parents need to patiently teach them, allowing children to learn through explanation and demonstration. As they learn to do housework, they will think about how to do it better, which can help develop their problem-solving skills.

5. Practicing organization and categorization

Organizational chores can teach children how to categorize and organize items. For example, folding clothes by season or sorting socks by size and shape.

Some say that children reflect their parents.

A child who doesn't like doing housework likely has a parent who takes on all the responsibilities and another parent who also doesn't like doing housework.

Housework is not just a woman's duty; men should also take on their share of household responsibilities. In the United States, regardless of age, parents emphasize that children are members of the family and should take responsibility. Doing housework is the best way to take on responsibility.

So, will you let your children do housework? Let's discuss.#Should children do housework?Share your thoughts!

Here is a list of chores for American children, which parents can use as a reference.

9-24 months

Have children follow simple instructions, such as using a spoon to eat or throwing their dirty diapers in the trash.

2-3 years

Under parental guidance, throw trash in the bin, help parents fetch items, use the toilet correctly, brush their teeth, water plants, and tidy up their toys.

3-4 years

Wash hands, brush teeth more thoroughly, feed pets, put their dishes in the kitchen sink after meals, help put folded clothes back in the wardrobe, and put dirty clothes in the laundry basket.

4-5 years

Set the table (starting with fetching utensils and gradually helping to set plates), put dirty dishes back in the kitchen after meals, fold and put away clean laundry, and prepare clothes for the next day.

5-6 years

Make the bed/change bed sheets (starting with removing dirty sheets and fetching clean ones), prepare their school bag and shoes for the next day, and tidy up their room (putting things back in their place).

Note:Parents should break down tasks into smaller steps, such as starting with fetching utensils, then setting the table, cleaning up, and finally washing the dishes. This helps children understand the tasks and gradually learn to do housework.

Parents should avoid helping with tasks that children can do themselves, allowing them to learn and grow through experience.

In the course of growing up, parents stepping back and children stepping forward is the best way to learn.

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